“What will today bring? I hold my breath, dive down. Come to the surface, gasping, empty handed. I catch my breath, then dive again. Maybe this time. I reach for treasures in this underwater landscape. Ones that only I can see. Ones that, should I discover them, will be mine and mine alone. I suppose this requires a certain kind of courage. But courage and fearlessness are the the same thing. Courage is all about feeling the fear and doing it anyway.” ~Dani Shapiro, Still Writing
Back in the studio painting recently. This is different than sketching something directly in front my eyes. Different from the cataloguing that occurs in those day to day documentary exercises. This is to act as cartographer of my own inner landscape. To sit with not knowing the outcome of my efforts. To trust that I am the proper vehicle through which these ideas and imagery should come forth into the world. I’m diving, once again, into oceanic depths. Why is this land-locked river-rat of a girl forever with her head and heart in the sea? I do not know. I simply must trust that what calls me there is worth listening to as I conjure paintings and whatever else needs birthing here in this magic workshop space I have hunkered down into for the winter. I am surrounded by piles of lovely books with oceanic folklore and mythical stories from the land beneath the waves, as well as scientific guide books to the amazing creatures found there. Have you ever noticed how a murmurations of starlings resemble the swarming behavior of fish?*
It may be a long while before much or any of this work is fit for viewing, but I do like to give you readers a peak into the process of things between proper Ta-Da moments. With temps being well below zero degrees F in recent days, my daydreams of dipping my toes into the ocean on a warm summer day are helping to maintain sanity.
Hoping you are staying warm and snug this winter, wherever you may be.